How to be an adult in relationships : the five keys to mindful loving

Summary: ""Most people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships that focuses not on finding an ideal mate but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Here, he explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life: Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships; Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are; Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament; Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways; Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control. When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts-what Richo calls the five A's-form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation"--